When we tell the truth about who we are, what we need and want, and how we feel, it helps us feel connected to people and form deep bonds with them. Telling the truth is not always easy, especially when you feel that the disclosure will hurt someone you love. But withholding information to protect someone you love is not only unfair to them, it is counterproductive to the relationship.
I really just say what is not being said. It is what you are not saying that is getting in the way of everything. —Dillon
Many of the people I spoke to said that when their partners share information with them, they feel informed and in the loop. Knowing what’s going on makes them feel more secure about their relationship and more connected to their partner. Many say that they feel the most insecure, jealous, and anxious when they don’t know what is up. What often happens is that they use their imagination to fill in the blanks, fear and irrationality come into play, and they make something into what it is not or imagine the worst-case scenario.
It requires believing, even if your fear is telling you otherwise, that your partner is with you because your partner wants to be with you. If you start with the assumption that your partner wants to be with you, then anything becomes possible—including defeating your jealousy without passing rules.
But you have to start there. You got to take it on faith, even when your fear is telling you otherwise—and believe me, it will.
Things aren’t as clear-cut when you’re dealing with emotional risk, however, Fears and insecurities are very, very clever at protecting and justifying themselves, and separating something that is actually harmful from something that’s merely uncomfortable isn’t always easy. It requires work. It requires examining, with an unflinching eye, what it is you’re afraid of and what it is you think will happen if your partner continues doing the thing that makes you jealous. And above all, it requires that you ask yourself, on a regular basis, What is the point of all this?
The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.’
When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became possessed by thought.
Within you is one of the most beautiful oases you will ever find; it is absolute love. Seek the oasis within your heart, mind and soul. If you cannot find your oasis, you are living in a desert. Walk out of the desert, into the openness of your mind, and you will see your oasis. Start your journey by loving yourself each day. Fill your chalice with love from your oasis within so when you meet others who are thirsty on the road of life, you have something to share.
No-one can be everything you want them to be.
Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.
I’ve told the kids in the ghettos that violence won’t solve their problems, but then they ask me, and rightly so; “Why does the government use massive doses of violence to bring about the change it wants in the world?” After this I knew that I could no longer speak against the violence in the ghettos without also speaking against the violence of my government
Experience life in all possible ways — good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don’t be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become.