When we tell the truth about who we are, what we need and want, and how we feel, it helps us feel connected to people and form deep bonds with them. Telling the truth is not always easy, especially when you feel that the disclosure will hurt someone you love. But withholding information to protect someone you love is not only unfair to them, it is counterproductive to the relationship.

I really just say what is not being said. It is what you are not saying that is getting in the way of everything. —Dillon

Many of the people I spoke to said that when their partners share information with them, they feel informed and in the loop. Knowing what’s going on makes them feel more secure about their relationship and more connected to their partner. Many say that they feel the most insecure, jealous, and anxious when they don’t know what is up. What often happens is that they use their imagination to fill in the blanks, fear and irrationality come into play, and they make something into what it is not or imagine the worst-case scenario.
Opening Up by Tristan Taormino (via polyfeels)

It requires believing, even if your fear is telling you otherwise, that your partner is with you because your partner wants to be with you. If you start with the assumption that your partner wants to be with you, then anything becomes possible—including defeating your jealousy without passing rules.

But you have to start there. You got to take it on faith, even when your fear is telling you otherwise—and believe me, it will.

Things aren’t as clear-cut when you’re dealing with emotional risk, however, Fears and insecurities are very, very clever at protecting and justifying themselves, and separating something that is actually harmful from something that’s merely uncomfortable isn’t always easy. It requires work. It requires examining, with an unflinching eye, what it is you’re afraid of and what it is you think will happen if your partner continues doing the thing that makes you jealous. And above all, it requires that you ask yourself, on a regular basis, What is the point of all this?

Within you is one of the most beautiful oases you will ever find; it is absolute love. Seek the oasis within your heart, mind and soul. If you cannot find your oasis, you are living in a desert. Walk out of the desert, into the openness of your mind, and you will see your oasis. Start your journey by loving yourself each day. Fill your chalice with love from your oasis within so when you meet others who are thirsty on the road of life, you have something to share.
Ron Rathbun (via unconditionedconsciousness)

"I guess I don’t know the answers. I don’t know where this will go, and I don’t know exactly what my place is.

But what I do know is that the blurring of lines and the indulgence in an endless circle of complexity can be a way to justify inactivity, to stay stuck, to indirectly protect the status quo. I know that behind the complexity of the situation also lies something perfectly simple: another black youth has been shot and killed by cops in a society where that is not an aberration but the norm, where mass incarceration is the new Jim Crow, where the crises of today are part of a brutal history of white supremacy inextricably bound with patriarchy and capitalism. I know that most white people stayed home when Newark was put down by tanks and Black Panthers were murdered by cops as they slept. I know that wasn’t so long ago, and I know it can happen again.

And I know that the most defining mark of privilege is the ability to walk away. Not all of us can walk away, and for those of us who can, confronting our privilege — to the extent that it is possible — means deciding to stay in the struggle.

That doesn’t necessarily mean we all have to drop what we’re doing and run to protest in East Flatbush. It’s not only about going or not going; it’s about engaging and finding points of solidarity. It’s about connecting struggles and taking leadership from people on the front lines of crisis. It’s about challenging ourselves and one another to find some of the simplicity beneath the complexity, to discover some of the patterns underlying the details, to create space for nuance and debate without failing to stand firmly alongside people fighting for freedom — fighting for their lives.”

I’ve told the kids in the ghettos that violence won’t solve their problems, but then they ask me, and rightly so; “Why does the government use massive doses of violence to bring about the change it wants in the world?” After this I knew that I could no longer speak against the violence in the ghettos without also speaking against the violence of my government
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.